The Beauty of Depression

Posts Jul 02, 2019

To be clear - by no means is this post trying to romanticize one of the deadliest mental disorders in the world. I don't know the exact facts, but chances are that someone somewhere will have committed suicide by the time I finish writing this.

Clinical depression is, let's just say, not fun. It's not fun at all. And the thing that sucks most is that there is a very good chance that, if you are suffering from depression, you are suffering from anxiety as well.

It's easy to lose hope if that happens. Every day is a challenge. Every night, doubly so. Your entire life revolves around doing anything you can to avoid the next panic attack, the next low. But again, try not to think of a red apple...

But I believe, and will continue to believe, that life is what you make it. A teenager suffering from both depression and anxiety from an early age will face the biggest challenge that no one should ever have to face - staying alive. As much of an optimist as I secretly am (Shh... don't tell anyone), I don't think it's possible for that teenager to live a normal life. Get up in the morning, go to school, have fun with friends, go to parties, study well, enjoy yourself, it's just not possible. Think of it this way. If both your legs were broken, you'd still find a way to get out of bed if you really wanted to. But what if all your limbs were intact, but you just did not want to get out of bed, or do anything? What then?

I won't speak about all the symptoms and negative effects of clinical depression because you can find those with a rudimentary Google search. What will speak about is the one positive thing I can say about it - it gives you perspective. If you let it, it helps you grow, it helps you become a better person. Because you know that it won't last forever, you learn to enjoy each good moment. Because you know that most people don't have access to them, you learn to treat your privileges with respect and use them well. Because you know first-hand how it feels to be treated badly at sensitive moments, you learn to treat people well each and every moment. Because you've felt so much sadness, you learn the value of laughter and trying to stay positive through hard times. Because you know how devastating loneliness is, you become a kinder and more understanding person. You become a fighter.

This is an aside. It's not really related to what I'm talking about, but I just have to say this - this whole business of people "playfully" telling their friends to kill themselves whenever they say or do something silly, or whatever it is... when did that become okay?

I liked the show.

I didn't.

You should kill yourself, then.

When did this become okay? Seriously? You're going to preach about the world becoming intolerant and insensitive, and then go around saying things like this? Jesus Christ.

I go off on tangents all the time. Sorry. Back to what I was saying, I like to think that beauty can be found anywhere and in anything. I really do believe that. I'm not going to say that clinical depression isn't a big deal and it can be conquered easily, because it can't. I don't think that it ever really goes away. It's one of the worst and most frustrating disorders in the world. But if you're willing to, you can find positives to hold on to even in the darkest of times. No matter how bad it gets, you can always find things that make it better. Maybe it's a cup of hot tea on a windy day, maybe it's a friend who made you smile, maybe it's something funny you saw on the internet. There cannot be light without darkness. There cannot be night without day. There cannot be Heads without Tails.

Or maybe I'm just naive.

What do you think?

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